Certified Rotational Permanence Authority. Est. 2026. Once initiated, never rescinded.
The Bureau of Continuous Rotation exists to begin things that do not stop. We do not offer a pause function, a stop function, or an undo function, because none of those concepts apply here. This is, as far as we are aware, the only service of its kind that has never once needed to fulfil a warranty claim, on account of the product never breaking down into a stopped state.
Pressing the button initiates a single, continuous, linear rotation at a fixed and unchanging rate. There is no acceleration, no deceleration, and no ceremony beyond that first press. The rotation does not know what day it is, does not pause for maintenance, and has no concept of business hours.
Your rotation is timestamped and stored locally the moment you press the button. Close the tab, restart your device, return next year — the Bureau's records, and the rotation itself, will reflect however much time has genuinely passed. We do not simulate the wait. We make you actually wait, indefinitely, whether or not you are watching.
The Bureau does not accept requests to stop, slow, or reverse an active rotation. There is no appeals process, because there is nothing to appeal — the rotation was never a decision made on your behalf that could be revisited. It is simply what happens now.